.. so whispered the bagger to the cashier at Raley's today. She was bagging our groceries and had picked up the box of frozen waffles. Ok, quick disclaimer. This is the FIRST time I have bought frozen waffles in a long time. I'm going to guess it's been at least 10 years, probably even longer, like way back in college, before I knew better about pre-packaged foods and how it's filled with crap that's not good for you. Well, I picked a box up today because I had read that frozen waffles are great for teething and guess who is getting 2 or 4 more teeth in addition to his 8? (I write 2 or 4 because he never opens his mouth all the way for me to actually check for the telltale signs of white stubs.)
So I picked up the box in the freezer section and placed it next to the kid. He immediately picks it up and starts gnawing on it. As I'm going through my grocery list, I don't pay any attention to what he's doing. When I finally take a quick look at him, he's smiling and chewing and immediately, I know he's not going to give up whatever's in his mouth without a fight. There I am, in the freakin' meat aisle, one hand holding his head with the other hand trying to pry his mouth open. My finger is trying to sweep his mouth, but he bites down and I'm trying not to scream. People are looking. I don't care. I work hard to make sure he has a good diet and cardboard boxes are not part of any menu. Finally, I get it out, but then he starts screaming. I hate the sound of babies crying. Doesn't matter if it's my own or someone else's. To diffuse the situation, I push him over to the bread and break off a piece of baguette for him. Distracted, he happily starts munching on the parmesan herb loaf and all is well.
I forgot about the waffles until I heard the bagger freak out. I turn to her and say that the only rat is my son. I hold up the partially bitten apple that he had also gotten a hold of back in produce. She looks at him, he smiles back, emergency rat situation at the grocery store averted.
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