Judgey McJudgersteen

When you get pregnant or have a newborn, lots of people start asking questions about your plans.


Are you going to breastfeed?
When will you go back to work?
Are you going to use cloth or disposable diapers?
Will your kid be vaccinated?


Uh, yes, don't know, disposable, and YES!  Before Elijah came along, I used to judge other moms' choices because I thought I knew it all.  What I've found out is that I am a twit.  Who am I to judge?  I wasn't a mom yet so maybe what those other moms were doing was all fine and dandy.  So some moms plop their kids in front of the TV for hours at a time so that they can get some rest.  Maybe their kids were screaming for hours on end and they needed a break.  And those moms that breastfeed in public without a coverup?  Their kid was hungry and they forgot to bring a cover or don't care what others think and just want to feed their child.   Ok, I get it.  I wasn't on that side of the baby aisle - all I had were assumptions of what I myself would or wouldn't do in the same situation.


Fast forward to today.  I don't go so far as to breastfeed without a cover, but I have breastfed in public, which is something I never thought I would do.  And work?  I always thought I would just go back to work and let someone else (Jeff, my mom, babysitter) take care of the baby because I was NOT a stay-at-home type.  Now, I can't imagine going to work and missing out on Eli's first steps or seeing all the cute things he does every day.  My "green" sensibilities considered cloth diapers for a second, but it quickly passed.  I was not ready to put baby's poopie diapers in a bin and let it accumulate for a week until the diaper people came to pick it up, regardless of how much they tell me that there is no smell in their special bins.  Yeah right.  As for vaccines, I'm all for them.  I remember being blown away when I found out that kids these days don't have to get the chicken pox anymore because there's a vaccine for it.  I remember being a kid with itchy blotches all over my body and hating it.  Now my kid can be spared that yuckiness.  But for all those moms that choose not to vaccinate?  I say stay away from my kid.  I don't understand why you would want to risk your child's health by forgoing time- and science-tested shots.  But, people will have their reasons.


There are things out there that I haven't decided on and I know others will judge me based on my choices.  Will I keep Eli from watching TV until he's at least 2 (as recommended by "child experts") or will I find myself letting him veg out in front of Sesame Street?  Will I try to breastfeed until he's 1 years old or just stop at 6 months?  And here's something else - will I be those crazy moms who breastfeed their kid past 2 years and well into pre-K age?  At this point in time, I say if the kid can ask for your milk, he's too old to get it.  But who knows?  If you see me breastfeeding my 3 year old, just walk on by and cast your judge-y eyes somewhere else.  I've learned that every mom does what's best for her child and everyone else can just suck it.

Parenthood

Eli and I went to the grocery store today. I love going out with him. It beats the humdrum of staying at home all day with a newborn. But, I've been trying to combine errand trips out so that we don't have to leave the house every single day. For the most part, this works fine and I get things done and Eli is either asleep the whole time we're out or he's cute and gurgly and passersby fawn all over him. A couple of times, though, I've made the mistake of being out too long and not a) bringing a diaper bag, or b) being conscience of his feeding time. Ugh, it was miserable. Let's just say that I have fed him in a Macy's lounge/bathroom and in an Old Navy dressing room. Like Jeff says, it's apparent that I'm a parent.

Today was an errand day and I was determined to time everything so that we would leave the house after a feeding and get back in time for the next feeding. That gave me 3 hours. After dropping off the dry cleaning and filling up the gas tank, we end up at Raley's. A lady came up to our cart and declared, "Oh, she's so cute! How many months is she?"

"HE'S about three months." I was a little put-off. Did my little boy really look like a little girl? What is it about his features that look feminine? It's not like I curled his long-ass eyelashes or anything, although I had a dream that I did just that.

We wandered over to the bakery and I immediately felt a wave of lust and guilt. I try not to make a habit of going to the grocery store when I'm hungry because then everything looks delicious and I veer from my list. Yes, I make a list for the grocery store. I plan what I want to feed my husband for the week and I shop accordingly. Actually, our process is this: I hand him a cookbook, tell him to pick out a few things that sound good, then I experiment with the recipe and make it for him. It works for us and lucky for me, he eats everything I make (save that one time I made dandelion greens - he was not a happy camper and immediately spit it out on our porch).

So yes, I was lured to the bakery/deli and what did I end up buying? Four mini-desserts and fried chicken. Oh, the heart attack horror. Did we need those items? Hell no. Was it delicious? Hell yeah!

I love shopping for food. I actually miss the Whole Foods in Mill Valley and I heard that the second Whole Foods in MV is opening this week. Sigh. I can't wait to explore the farmer's markets in the area. In the meantime, Eli and I are regulars at Raley's. I wandered the aisles, trying to find inspiration. I spoke to the produce guy and got some good looking zucchini. I stopped by the meat department and dropped off a couple of knives (they sharpen them for free). I went through check-out and only after I paid did I realize that I forgot to pick up milk for Jeff. It was the first item on my list. As I went back through the store, Eli started getting fussy and I checked my watch. I had lost track of time. Again. Time to go home.

A few seconds later, an older lady approached and asked, "Where can I pick up one of these?" while pointing to Eli.

I smiled at her, then at Eli, who changed his scowl to a smile for the lady, and replied, "Over in Aisle 4. There's a sale today."

Parenthood. It's awesome.