Broken heart

I came home from work today and my better half had vacuumed, swept the kitchen, mopped the floor and hung up some pictures that have been waiting for wall space for over a year.  In the middle of my awe, I turned to look at the baby and CRAP!  His hair had all been cut off.

"What did you do to his head?"
"I gave him a haircut.  He needed it."
"But why didn't you ask me?"
"Why would I ask you to cut our kid's hair?"
"Ok, not ask, but why didn't you at least tell me you were going to do it??"
"I didn't think it was a big deal."
"Well, did you at least save a piece?"
"That's gross.  Anyway, what's the big deal??"
"I can't believe you cut my baby's hair!  It's his first haircut and I wasn't even here for it!  You've broken my heart!"
"WHAT'S THE BIG FRIGGIN' DEAL?!  It's just hair.  It'll grow back!  You're lucky I didn't shave it like I wanted to."
HUMPH!

My dear, that's not even the point.  Our child got his very first haircut, no input from mama, didn't even run it by me, and now, there is no evidence of his baby hair for the baby book.  I've heard from others that even though the hair grows back, it doesn't grow back the same.  Sigh....  My heart was broken today.

Great feats (and feet!)

The other day, I came home late from court and in the middle of apologizing to the babysitter, she says:

"I didn't know Eli could go down the slide by himself."  Um, what?

"Yeah, I put him at the top of the slide and he slid down by himself."  Wait.. How?

"He put his hands on the sides and slid down."  Did he fall off the end or hit his head leaning back or have any other slide-related injuries that I've only imagined because I have never seen him go down a slide by himself?

"Nope, he was great and he went down the thing at least 8 times!"  No, seriously, what?!

How is it that the kid learned to slide down a slide by himself?  We've done it maybe twice, with me sitting behind him.  And why did his first time solo have to be with the babysitter?

I told Jeff about it later that night.

Yesterday, he took Eli to the park.  Last night, he tells me that yes indeed, while our son needs help to climb the play structure and to be told to sit at the top of the slide (to avoid any head-first craziness), he can go down the slide by himself and he will do it over and over and over until it's time to go home.  Awesome!  I'm so proud of all he's accomplished at 13 months.  When we go places, it's always nice to hear that he's so advanced at this or that.  I just hope that if he has a sibling, we don't do any comparison stuff because #2 will have big shoes to fill.

And speaking of shoes, a good friend gave Eli a pair of shoes last week.  Her kid is 6 months older that E, but apparently, they are wearing the same size.  This other kid isn't small by any means; he's actually a really big kid  I just never realized that my kid was ginormous.  My friend says, "Have you ever really looked at his hands and feet?  Like, really looked at them?  They are humongous!"  Well there you go.  I have the next Bigfoot on my hands!  Shoe shopping will probably be difficult come the teenage years.

Poor baby

The baby is sick.  Not just feverish sick, but runny nose, a horrible croup-like cough, and yesterday, he threw up on me.  Projectile.  His lunch of green beans and corn porridge.  YUCK!

I should have stayed home with him today when he was feeling so miserable, but no.  We had dinner plans with 6 other people.  We always said that we wouldn't be the kind of parents who live their lives centered around the baby.  So we stay late at a friend's home.  No biggie, the kid can sleep in the next room while we have dinner and play board games.  An early lunch with an old friend during baby's usual naptime?  Sure, he can stay up a little longer and we'll adjust accordingly.  We like being flexible and so far, it hasn't affected the baby because apparently, he's picked up the flex gene from us.  But today.  Oh, today.  I think he and I should have stayed home.

Not only was he miserable at the restaurant, but I think he made some fellow patrons miserable too.  His hacking cough is hard to ignore.  His swollen cheeks, crusty nose, and sad cry probably added to their non-pleasant dining experience.  What's worse is that I knew there was nothing I could do to make him feel better.  When we were at home, he was clingy and whiny.  Out and about, he was the same.  What is it about not being able to give babies cold medicine?  When we went to the doctor's office on Thursday, the doc just recommended using a humidifier (to moisten nasal passages) and elevating the bed (for the snot to drip down the back of the throat). Babies can cough and cough the mucus to break it up, but they don't know how to spit it out.  Hence, the continual cycle of hacking cough.  My poor baby.  I think I'll sleep in the rocker with him on my chest tonight.  Here's to hoping this bug goes away soon.

blank

my mind is totally blank.  i've been thinking about an idea for a new blog post all week and now i can't remember it for the life of me.  this "mommy brain" syndrome is driving me nuts.  why is it that i can remember playdates and when he pooped last and what he likes to eat for breakfast, but i can't remember a simple thing like this??  sigh.

on another note, we did the electric slide today!  well, he can't really do it, but he gets the clapping and the moving your feet side to side, back and then forward.  he's not coordinated to put it all together, but he follows me just fine and it was SO CUTE!  i love my baby so much.  :)

Speech therapy?

Ok, I'm being totally neurotic here.
Eli is so verbal these days, but I'm starting to detect a lisp.  Is it possible in kids this young?
He's not really saying words, but just the way he babbles makes me think that I'll be signing him up for speech therapy.  After all, no one wants a Cindy Brady lisp, right?

He definitely understands more than he says.  We had been watching a Baby Einstein video (the only thing he's ever watched on TV) on Signing with your Baby.  I think they teach about 20 words to sign with your baby.  The only sign he's using?  The one for "milk" - which he does when he wants to nurse.  He doesn't use "mommy" or "daddy" or even "bath"!  He just wants the boob.  I guess weaning isn't coming anytime soon.  I'll just be comforted by the fact that when I say "Ba dau" (where's daddy?), he turns and looks for his dad.  When I ask "Dua nao thuong Ngoai" (who loves grampa?), he raises his hand.  When I say certain phrases from his books, he'll go bring me that book.  He knows a lot.  I'm just waiting for the day when he actually responds with real words., like when I ask "Met chua" (tired yet?) and he says "Chua!"

Btw, his 1st birthday is tomorrow and I am so excited!!

It's almost the big birthday!

Eli's first birthday party is in one week and I still have not made any concrete plans on what to do.

Yes, I sent out the 20 invitations.
I got 19 yes replies.
I bought cake mix to make cake pops (an idea I got from another mom - thanks Kristi!).
That's about it.

Food?  Still trying to decide the menu.
Games?  With 12 kids coming, I have to come up with something.
What if it rains?  Crap.

Maybe I should shut down my laptop and get some thoughts together.

All I know is that it's been such a whirlwind year and I am so thankful for my baby!

(this is him kissing me at Christmas!)

What kind of mom are you?

I watched this video twice in a row because I thought it was hilarious!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikvcS3Oe-oA&feature=player_embedded

I don't know what's funnier - the dialogue between the two moms, or the fact that I could see parts of myself in the white mom.  Seriously!  For example, we were co-sleeping with the baby for months, probably 6, because it was easier to nurse at night if he was right next to me, as opposed to me getting up every three hours and running over to his room when he cried.  When he started eating solids, I made all his food.  It wasn't hard.. and I really liked knowing that he was eating wholesome, organic, unprocessed foods (see, like the white mom).  We are working on signing with him and I speak to him in Vietnamese (again, see white mom).

To redeem myself from looking like a psycho first time mom, there are things that I "failed" on, like sleep training the kid.  When he was younger and we were co-sleeping, it was no big deal.  We all went to sleep together and it was sweet.  Then, he started I don't even know what, but he would twist and kick us in his sleep.  Not only that, he would turn his body so that in our cal king bed, he moved in such a way that he would end up being the - (dash) and we would be the two |  | in the letter H.  Funny, yes, but enough was enough.  He took his naps in his crib so I figured that it would be easy for him to sleep in it at night.  When we first started, he would scream when we put him to bed.  I think it's because we weren't on a schedule or had a routine or anything.  Our lives are such that there was no consistency in our days and I think we're lucky the baby is so adaptable, he just rolled with it.  When we started instituting a bedtime routine, he was having none of it.  Cry, cry, cry, scream, scream, scream.  It was the worst and it lasted a month!  After that, when he willingly went to bed at night, he would still wake every 4-5 hours to nurse.  Why wasn't my kid sleeping through the night, 10-12 hours, like all the other moms were talking about?  The doctor said the baby didn't really need to nurse at night anymore and that it was probably just his way to get me to come get him.  I said, no, he really does nurse, and actively so for 10-15 minutes..  Maybe he was on a growth spurt?  Teething?  Who knows.

With his 1st birthday looming in a month, I decided to try to get him to sleep through the night.  Not only that, I was also going to night wean him and instill a routine.  Three tough things, all at once.  It's been about a week, but it's working out great!  After dinner, we play for a bit, he gets a bath, we read a couple of books, sing a few songs, then he gets tucked in.  I ferberized him (which is so painful) and I don't nurse him at night anymore.  I don't know why I waited so long to do all these things.  I'd like to think that it wasn't our time for it, since it all works out in the end.  Being a mom is hard and you just have to do what's best for your family, on your own timeline, crazy moms be damned!

Disneyland!

So we booked our room at the Grand Cal Hotel and Spa in Anaheim for a family trip in October!  I'm super excited.  This will be our first "real" family vacation since Eli was born.  We've had trips here and there, but have always stayed with family or friends.  When we first talked about going to Disneyland, I thought that Eli would be too young to enjoy the place (he'll be 18 months then).  After some deep conversations about starting family traditions and yes we can afford it if we save $130/month, blah blah blah, I was convinced.  Oh, don't let me kid you that the $1000 covers airfare, hotel, tickets, food and fun.  We are lucky enough to be related to some fine folks (shout out to S&K) for allowing us to use their Disney vacation points to get a room at the specific hotel.  They're shareholders or timeshare investors or something like that - with all Disney resorts - so they were able to save us almost $1000 from what it would've cost us if I just booked through Disney itself.  Yay!

I love my family and friends, of whom there are many, who live in SoCal and would have gladly lent us a place to stay during our trip.  But, I felt that being at a hotel steps away from the action would be easier than driving back and forth if/when Eli has meltdowns during the day.  It would also be easy to go back to our room during his naptimes.  And, with a 3- or 4-day park hopper pass (haven't decided which yet), we'll be able to get to everything and share the magic and commercialism of Disney with our kid.  :)

We have RATS!

.. so whispered the bagger to the cashier at Raley's today.  She was bagging our groceries and had picked up the box of frozen waffles.  Ok, quick disclaimer.  This is the FIRST time I have bought frozen waffles in a long time.  I'm going to guess it's been at least 10 years, probably even longer, like way back in college, before I knew better about pre-packaged foods and how it's filled with crap that's not good for you.  Well, I picked a box up today because I had read that frozen waffles are great for teething and guess who is getting 2 or 4 more teeth in addition to his 8?  (I write 2 or 4 because he never opens his mouth all the way for me to actually check for the telltale signs of white stubs.)

So I picked up the box in the freezer section and placed it next to the kid.  He immediately picks it up and starts gnawing on it.  As I'm going through my grocery list, I don't pay any attention to what he's doing.  When I finally take a quick look at him, he's smiling and chewing and immediately, I know he's not going to give up whatever's in his mouth without a fight.  There I am, in the freakin' meat aisle, one hand holding his head with the other hand trying to pry his mouth open.  My finger is trying to sweep his mouth, but he bites down and I'm trying not to scream.  People are looking.  I don't care.  I work hard to make sure he has a good diet and cardboard boxes are not part of any menu.  Finally, I get it out, but then he starts screaming.  I hate the sound of babies crying.  Doesn't matter if it's my own or someone else's.  To diffuse the situation, I push him over to the bread and break off a piece of baguette for him.  Distracted, he happily starts munching on the parmesan herb loaf and all is well.

I forgot about the waffles until I heard the bagger freak out.  I turn to her and say that the only rat is my son.  I hold up the partially bitten apple that he had also gotten a hold of back in produce.  She looks at him, he smiles back, emergency rat situation at the grocery store averted.

Innocence and Evil

They just found the body of a boy they believe to be the missing 4 yr old from Patterson.

News stories like this one always bothered me, but now that I'm a mom, it literally drives me to tears.
Why would anyone be evil enough to take the life of an innocent child?
Was the guy trying to get revenge on the kid's mom?
Why do psychos think that hurting a child would bring about a positive outcome?

Every single day, stories like this one break my heart.  There's the one where a baby was crying too loudly while his dad was playing video games so the dad grabs the baby's arm, breaks it, and shakes the kid so hard he dies. Last weekend, a mom shot her teenage son and daughter because they were being "mouthy" to her.  Now, this sweet boy is gone and his 8-month pregnant mom has to live with the fact that her unborn baby daddy took her son away.  With all this evil against children, I pray their families find comfort in their unbelievable grief.

I know a special baby boy who will get extra hugs and kisses tonight.  Please do the same to your own children.

Sweet Home Alabama

There's a scene in that Reece Witherspoon movie where she goes back home and runs into an old friend at the local bar.  "Look at you!  With a baby!  In a bar!"  I remember laughing when I first saw that scene, thinking that only rednecks would be bringing a baby into a bar.  Her friend's response - "Well, he's still on the teet so I can just drag him along wherever I go."  Seriously??  Who in their right mind would do such a thing?

Me.

Eli and I went to a brewery today.  In my defense, it wasn't late at night (like in the movie), but it was a watering hole just the same.  Trying to make myself feel better, I rationalized it in my head.  "Hey, it's just lunch."  "We wanted to visit with a friend."  "They have good food."  Truth was, Jeff was meeting a friend for lunch and the baby and I tagged along.... even after reading the Yelp page for the place and it said "Not good for kids."  After a long week and Eli's first foray into temper tantrums, I said screw it.  I need a drink.  I'm going to the bar and he's coming with.  We got pizza, chicken wings, and I got a Hef.  YUM!  Totally hit the spot.

Tonight, as I eat the leftovers for dinner, I got to thinking.  This was NOT the first time I've taken the kid into a bar.  Shoot, I think this is the THIRD time, with the other 2 times at night.  What was my problem?  Yes, he's still on the "teet" but that really is no excuse.   I am that girl from the movie!  Ugh.  I am sure my fellow patrons did not appreciate seeing a little one while they drink in a bar.  I need to hurry up and make some young friends who can come babysit so I don't have to drag poor Eli out whenever Mommy needs a break aka Mommy could use a drink.  I'll re-visit this issue in the future, but this is one of those times when I wished my parents lived closer so they can watch Eli.  No one ever said having a kid was easy.  It's especially freakin' hard when you don't have help close by.

Daydream #26:  Get a great paying job to possibly afford a nanny/cook.

He walks!

Oh, I have been waiting for this moment for a couple of months now.  Eli had been standing and cruising all around the house and I kept thinking he was going to walk by himself any day, any day.  Finally, he took an unassisted step yesterday.  Hooray!  I almost teared up, such a crybaby I am.  But crap, now I'll really have to follow him around.  He's still putting everything in his mouth and he especially likes paper products.  Not sure why, but he likes to take bites out of cardboard boxes.  Maybe it's time for me to put his Christmas presents away and get rid of those boxes.  :)

On another note, we had his 10month wellbaby checkup today.  He is 31' tall and weighs 26 lbs 8.5 oz.  The doctor says he is in the 96.8% for weight and the 96.3% for height.  Textbook case in terms of development - motor skills, speech, socialization, etc.  I am so thankful for our healthy son.  I could just squeeze and kiss him every day... and I do.

A new page

Eli just turned 10 months old and I realized that I stopped blogging when he was about 4 months.  Where have the past 6 months gone?  So much has happened in that time - we tried out a daycare (which was good, but I pulled him out to save $$), he learned to crawl, he started on solid food - and it turns out that I am really good at making all of his baby food!, and he LOVES to dance!  Our boy can shake his booty like nobody's business.  His favorite tune?  The theme song to The Office tv show.  His second?  The ipad commercial ditty.  Since he has been taking tentative steps on his own, he likes to just stop and dance to whatever beat he hears.  So freakin precious.

In this new year, I am excited to see what else my baby can do.  At 99% for weight and 95% for height, I'm sure the possibilities are endless.  I think we'll be doing more physical activities as a family now that Eli is mobile.  We try to go swimming 3x/week.  I take him on walks the other days.  Oh, and the fact that J is 60lbs down is another big factor.  He doesn't even look like the same guy I married.

Speaking of swimming, if you're in the area and free, Eli and I like to go to the Richmond Plunge.  He got sick a lot between Thanksgiving and Christmas so we didn't swim then, but we're getting back into it and even out of practice, our kid is blowing away the spectators.  Yep, he can float for about 5 seconds.  Likes to go underwater.  Loves the swim songs.  Maybe he'll be the next Michael Phelps?

I'll try to blog more this year so I can chronicle our family life.  I am still a SAHM, but I hope to change that soon.  Having a kid is expensive and time-consuming and it is impossible to keep up my practice.  I have applied to work for the state.  God-willing, I will get a job there and be able to help provide for my family.  Til then, I am open for playdates!

Who's a weepy mess?

I never considered myself a crier.  Sure, there are moments during certain movies, or when I'm so angry or frustrated or sad that I shed a tear or two.  Ok, so maybe I am a big cry-baby.  When I was super hormonal right after having the baby, I would watch him sleep and cry a bit because I didn't want anything bad to ever happen to him.  When I got this email forward from my MIL, I shed some more tears.  For someone who never considered motherhood a likely option, I am SO deep into it I want to give up my day job!  Oh, for the love of my baby.... :)

***

"We are sitting at lunch when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."  "We're taking a survey," she says, half-jokingly.  "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.  "I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations..."

But that is not what I meant at all.  I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her.  I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.  I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but that becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.  I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "what if that had been MY child?"  That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.   That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub.  That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a souffle or her best crystal without a moment's hesitation.  I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally drailed by motherhood.  She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell.  She will have to use every ounce of her discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that everyday decisions will no longer be routine.  That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemna.  That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.  However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.  That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child.  That she would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years- not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.  I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.  My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.  I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.  I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.  I hope she will understand why I can think rationally about most issues, but become temporarily insane when I discuss the threat of nuclear war to my children's future.  I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.  I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or a cat for the first time.  I want her to taste the joy that is so real, it acutally hurts.

My daughter's quizzical looks makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes.  "You'll never regret it," I finally say.  Then I reach across the table, squeeze my daughter's hand and offer a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all of the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of calling:  This blessed gift from God- that of Motherhood."

Judgey McJudgersteen

When you get pregnant or have a newborn, lots of people start asking questions about your plans.


Are you going to breastfeed?
When will you go back to work?
Are you going to use cloth or disposable diapers?
Will your kid be vaccinated?


Uh, yes, don't know, disposable, and YES!  Before Elijah came along, I used to judge other moms' choices because I thought I knew it all.  What I've found out is that I am a twit.  Who am I to judge?  I wasn't a mom yet so maybe what those other moms were doing was all fine and dandy.  So some moms plop their kids in front of the TV for hours at a time so that they can get some rest.  Maybe their kids were screaming for hours on end and they needed a break.  And those moms that breastfeed in public without a coverup?  Their kid was hungry and they forgot to bring a cover or don't care what others think and just want to feed their child.   Ok, I get it.  I wasn't on that side of the baby aisle - all I had were assumptions of what I myself would or wouldn't do in the same situation.


Fast forward to today.  I don't go so far as to breastfeed without a cover, but I have breastfed in public, which is something I never thought I would do.  And work?  I always thought I would just go back to work and let someone else (Jeff, my mom, babysitter) take care of the baby because I was NOT a stay-at-home type.  Now, I can't imagine going to work and missing out on Eli's first steps or seeing all the cute things he does every day.  My "green" sensibilities considered cloth diapers for a second, but it quickly passed.  I was not ready to put baby's poopie diapers in a bin and let it accumulate for a week until the diaper people came to pick it up, regardless of how much they tell me that there is no smell in their special bins.  Yeah right.  As for vaccines, I'm all for them.  I remember being blown away when I found out that kids these days don't have to get the chicken pox anymore because there's a vaccine for it.  I remember being a kid with itchy blotches all over my body and hating it.  Now my kid can be spared that yuckiness.  But for all those moms that choose not to vaccinate?  I say stay away from my kid.  I don't understand why you would want to risk your child's health by forgoing time- and science-tested shots.  But, people will have their reasons.


There are things out there that I haven't decided on and I know others will judge me based on my choices.  Will I keep Eli from watching TV until he's at least 2 (as recommended by "child experts") or will I find myself letting him veg out in front of Sesame Street?  Will I try to breastfeed until he's 1 years old or just stop at 6 months?  And here's something else - will I be those crazy moms who breastfeed their kid past 2 years and well into pre-K age?  At this point in time, I say if the kid can ask for your milk, he's too old to get it.  But who knows?  If you see me breastfeeding my 3 year old, just walk on by and cast your judge-y eyes somewhere else.  I've learned that every mom does what's best for her child and everyone else can just suck it.

P.I.M.P.

This has been such an awful week!

First, I found out that Raley's, which offers free knife sharpening, LOST my 2 knives that I dropped off last week.  What?!  Yep, my chef's knife and my santoku.  I kept getting the "We're so sorry, we've never lost any knives before" spiel.  The manager was on vacation last week and when he came back yesterday, he spoke to me and said he was going to get to the bottom of it.  Did I remember what the person looked like when I dropped off the knives?  No.  I had a baby in my cart and grocery shopping to do.  Ugh.  They're going to reimburse me for the knives if they can't find it.  Least of my worries.

Second, the Honda broke down.  It needs a new radiator, if not more work.  The car is 13 years old.  Jeff says that if it needs more work than just the radiator, we'll have to get a new car.  A) a new car sounds awesome, as I've been thinking about getting a new one to fit our growing family.  The Honda is so old that it doesn't have the safety features for our car seat to fit it.  New regulations came out in all cars in 2002, so we've only been able to fit the car seat in the Toyota truck, which isn't really a family car.  B) we can't really afford a new car.  I haven't worked all year (6 months) and money is tight.  What to do, what to do?  I'm thinking of going back to work, but not really in the same capacity as before.  I think I might have to go work for someone else.  Being on my own has been great, but with a baby, I can't really go out and meet clients, much less hustle to get new clients.  Plus, daycare is expensive, but the grandparents don't live close enough to provide the kind of babysitting necessary for me to work like I did before.  So, I am going to send out an email to colleagues and see if anyone is hiring.  It's kind of a crap dilemma too because I have LOVED being at home with Eli.  He's such a sweet baby.  I never thought I would enjoy being a stay-at-home mom, but it's been really cool!

In the midst of stressing about work and money and knives, my sweet baby provided a reality check.  He was sitting on my lap while I was typing away on my computer when all of a sudden, I hear the loudest, wettest fart imaginable.  Crap, I thought.  As I lifted him up to take him to the changing table, I saw the free flow of poop dripping down his leg, ooze onto my jeans, and down to the dining room chair.  Gross times 10!  

Instead of being mad, I started laughing hysterically.  What a freakin' reality check!  When Eli started laughing too, I was reminded that he was what was important in my life.  I needed to put aside all of my worries and just concentrate on him.  And that at this moment, it was the P.I.M.P. that needed my help - Poopies In My Pants.*

*P.I.M.P. is from a shirt my cousin bought her niece in Vegas.

Parenthood

Eli and I went to the grocery store today. I love going out with him. It beats the humdrum of staying at home all day with a newborn. But, I've been trying to combine errand trips out so that we don't have to leave the house every single day. For the most part, this works fine and I get things done and Eli is either asleep the whole time we're out or he's cute and gurgly and passersby fawn all over him. A couple of times, though, I've made the mistake of being out too long and not a) bringing a diaper bag, or b) being conscience of his feeding time. Ugh, it was miserable. Let's just say that I have fed him in a Macy's lounge/bathroom and in an Old Navy dressing room. Like Jeff says, it's apparent that I'm a parent.

Today was an errand day and I was determined to time everything so that we would leave the house after a feeding and get back in time for the next feeding. That gave me 3 hours. After dropping off the dry cleaning and filling up the gas tank, we end up at Raley's. A lady came up to our cart and declared, "Oh, she's so cute! How many months is she?"

"HE'S about three months." I was a little put-off. Did my little boy really look like a little girl? What is it about his features that look feminine? It's not like I curled his long-ass eyelashes or anything, although I had a dream that I did just that.

We wandered over to the bakery and I immediately felt a wave of lust and guilt. I try not to make a habit of going to the grocery store when I'm hungry because then everything looks delicious and I veer from my list. Yes, I make a list for the grocery store. I plan what I want to feed my husband for the week and I shop accordingly. Actually, our process is this: I hand him a cookbook, tell him to pick out a few things that sound good, then I experiment with the recipe and make it for him. It works for us and lucky for me, he eats everything I make (save that one time I made dandelion greens - he was not a happy camper and immediately spit it out on our porch).

So yes, I was lured to the bakery/deli and what did I end up buying? Four mini-desserts and fried chicken. Oh, the heart attack horror. Did we need those items? Hell no. Was it delicious? Hell yeah!

I love shopping for food. I actually miss the Whole Foods in Mill Valley and I heard that the second Whole Foods in MV is opening this week. Sigh. I can't wait to explore the farmer's markets in the area. In the meantime, Eli and I are regulars at Raley's. I wandered the aisles, trying to find inspiration. I spoke to the produce guy and got some good looking zucchini. I stopped by the meat department and dropped off a couple of knives (they sharpen them for free). I went through check-out and only after I paid did I realize that I forgot to pick up milk for Jeff. It was the first item on my list. As I went back through the store, Eli started getting fussy and I checked my watch. I had lost track of time. Again. Time to go home.

A few seconds later, an older lady approached and asked, "Where can I pick up one of these?" while pointing to Eli.

I smiled at her, then at Eli, who changed his scowl to a smile for the lady, and replied, "Over in Aisle 4. There's a sale today."

Parenthood. It's awesome.